Zambia in March

Greetings all!

Zambia in March is magnificent. Everything is so beautiful here that I spend time thinking about it every day without even realizing it. We had an event day this past Monday, and in the afternoon there were sports tournaments. Envision an enormous blue sky; and under it, a bright green baobab tree, and under that, maybe fifty dark-skinned people of all ages sitting under the tree watching the game. You see a soccer ball arc through the sky and the players come into view from behind a building, running in tandem, one team wearing bright red jerseys and the other bright blue. The colors here are incredible. And what makes it even better is that everyone here is my friend, everyone knows me and I know everyone.

I've been learning more about the sex lives of Zambians. You will never guess. The most common sexual experience for young Zambians is that they had sex once, when they were very young (like 12), and it was no fun, so they've never repeated it. I ask people in private about their sex lives, and my latest streak is six people in a row having that exact same story!!! Six in a row!!! So far, I've managed to find only three people with what I would call a decent sex life (defined as: they've had sex three or more times, and they say it was fun.) Part of the problem is that people spend zero time getting to know each other before sex - there is no concept of the fact that you can see a girl naked and not have sex with her. So of course people's knowledge about their partners' preferences prior to sex is essential nil. This, combined with the super-young ages of the participants, does not lead to intimate, fun times in bed. I've asked a guy who's had a lot of sex if sex is fun, and he thought about it, and said he wasn't sure! And, I've asked another guy who had sex twice if sex was fun, and he said it was "f-n" and I clarified, "it was fine? or it was fun?" and it was fine, but not fun. EEEK!!! I come from the sex-should-be-safe-and-fun camp, and Zambians are having dangerous sex that's not even safe, just so they can brag to their little friends that they've "done it"!

Fortunately, I'm in an excellent position to fix the situation. I tell all of my kiddies, in class, that everything between boys and girls should be comfortable and fun, and if it's not, they should stop what they're doing and go back to something comfortable and fun. I talk about lots of things they've never heard about that are good things to do before you have sex: how to give a backrub, how to give verbal and non-verbal feedback to your partner about what you like, how to find a clitoris, that Americans have oral sex and aren't blind as a result, how to ask that a guy use a condom. And I tell them they have lots of time in their lives for sex, and sex will be more fun if they wait for a decent age, and to please tell their younger brothers and sisters.

I think I'm getting results. Take this case, of a good friend of mine who is twenty years old and has abstained her entire life - she has had exactly one kiss. She's smart, good-looking, mature, and has had boyfriends before - but had never heard before that you can do anything besides kissing and sex. She's now heard otherwise from me. She has a minor crush on a friend of ours. She visited him and another friend for a couple days - sleeping arrangements were such that the two of them ended up sharing a bed (but not sleeping together), they talked, they kissed, they gave each other massages. Basically, they had a *great time.* And their friends (who I had also subtly coached the week before) just kind of looked away and let them do their thing. The whole experience sounds so nice and normal to me - but I know this kind of comfortable, sexual-but-no-sex, boy-girl contact here is *extremely rare*. I'm proud as a mother hen for my part in making it possible. =>

Switching gears. I've been thinking, part of the problem about visiting Zambia is that it's not a country for tourists - there are no monuments, no shows, no walking tours. You really need someone who is here already to create an itinerary and show you around. And, here I am. So I'd like to take this opportunity to invite everyone on this list, your spouses, significant others, kids, friends and neighbors - anyone who can afford it, really - to Zambia for a week. I will show you a fantastic time and open your eyes to a totally different culture besides. We'll spend time in Victoria Falls, one of the natural wonders of the world that's in Zambia, and also visit my placement so you'll get a chance to meet a lot of cool Zambians and really see how people live. I may also invite some of my Zambian friends along as guides, to help negotiate travel, prices, and cooking, and to provide their own perspective on what you're seeing. Interesting ideas for a second week abound: sun-worshipping in Zanzibar and the Spice Islands, safaris in the Serengeti, or visits to Cape Town, Africa's prettiest city.

The best time is Sunday July 1 - Sunday July 8 in Zambia, with side trips before or after. The week might cost about $2,500 per person (broad brush) including about $1,500 for airfare. Let me know if you might be interested!!!

Remember, these letters are posted online at http://summerinzambia.blogspot.com; comments are most welcome and I love the nice comments and e-mails I've been getting!! Thank you!!

All the best,

Summer